Thursday, December 6, 2007

Survival Guide 101

It is 4:30 am and I can't sleep so I thought I would write a survival guide for anyone who has decided to visit Ghana after our glowing reports:)

1. When two adult travelers must share a twin bed (not double, twin) it is of utmost importance to decide on one sleeping position and then remain in that position the entire night. This eliminates needless, accidental touching of one another (which results in grouchy responses, instant heat transfer, and more sweat on the sheets and body)
2. Check the bed boards to make sure they are properly in place before going to bed. This will ensure that no bed boards fall out in the middle of the night causing much terror and confusion.
3. Before taking a shower, imagine the waters of the Acrtic, imagine the icy waters, etc. this will cause the water to actually feel warm when you do take the shower (note to readers: this has not worked yet, but the theory is sound).
4. Do not take a shower on an empty stomach. The shock of the cold water on your extremely warm body will result in dry heaves (note to readers: this could also be caused by eating raw plantains, see previous post).
5. When typing at 4:30 am, do not scream at the sight of lizards running by your feet or accross the wall. This results in people awakening before they really should.
6. When buying fruit or any local items, make sure you clarify what it is you are buying and how it should be prepared. This eliminates the possibility of feeding your family raw plantains, for example, which results in stomach aches and possible sadness.
7. When cooking in the kitchen, be kind to the lizards as they, like you, are just trying to survive. (and try not to scream at the sight of them, this causes them to be very scared, which is not very considerate seeing that they were here first).
8. When riding in a taxi in rush hour, make sure you have made peace with God.
9. Leave the make-up at home and instead bring extra deodorant.
10. Kiss and hug your children many more times before you leave, as you will miss their soft skin, smell of their hair, and their little faces.

I hope this helps you. I will write Survival Guide 102 next so that you will have a good grasp on surviving and thriving in Ghana!

3 comments:

Laurel said...

Maybe you should just bring our kids home, so that we can stay in our cozy beds waiting for you. :)

Thanks for sharing ... we are glad that you will have written Survival Guide 125 before it is our turn to go.

We are making our packing list:
#1 Bag of Rice with no bugs.
#2 Deodorant.
#3 Deodorant.
#4 Deodorant.

Thanks so much for the honest updates. We are praying, praying, praying for you!

love and blessings,

Laurel :)

K said...

LOL! :)

Kristin said...

You are hilarious! I am thinking my son would be in heaven with his lizard fetish right now- yuck!